Managing up! Ever hear of it? Never heard of it?
It’s important that you don’t allow yourself to just be obedient whether it’s with your boss, your spouse, whoever! In order to grow in your self-appraisal, today Judith & Jim will help you learn to better manage up!
It’s important that you feel comfortable influencing others, perhaps in your relationship with your child’s teacher, or with your next door neighbor, or your friendship circle.
Ep.112 ~ How Well Do You Manage Up and Influence Others? – TRANSCRIPT
Jim:
Managing up! Ever hear of it? Never heard of it? If you report to someone at work then it’s important you don’t allow yourself to just be obedient. In order to grow in your work-life self-appraisal we want to help you learn to better manage your manager.
Judith:
And just as well, it’s important for your growing self-assessment, that you feel comfortable influencing others, perhaps in your relationship with your child’s teacher, or with your neighbor, or your friendship circle. Managing Up and Influencing Others is an important element in your commitment to living an expanded lifestyle.
Jim:
Some people are horrified by the idea of managing their boss, maybe even their boss’s boss! But think about it, if you can’t influence, you can’t impress. And what’s the point of being in relationships at work if you can’t express your expertise and make an impact? In fact, as we see it, the inability to achieve impact is the number one reason people leave their jobs and look for work elsewhere.
Hi – I’m Judith Sherven and I’m Jim Sniechowski
Judith:
Welcome to another podcast in our Overcoming the Fear of Being Fabulous series! And the topic today, as you probably guessed, is – How Well Do You Manage Up and Influence Others?
Jim:
Even if you’re not interested in Managing Up in the workplace, influencing others is certainly an aspect of living to your fullest, so be sure to listen through to the end of this short podcast as it can empower you to influence various people in your everyday life.
Judith:
When you suffer from The Fear Of Being Fabulous you are prone to undermining your own influence. You may be already saying to yourself, “Who do I think I am to be telling my boss how they might do something differently.” And yet….think about it. If your boss, your manager isn’t in the habit of giving you feedback that can help you grow your career, what are you going to do about it to help up-level your experience?
Jim:
Helping your manager see you in a more expanded light, may take the form of volunteering to participate in an upcoming presentation and giving your manager several reasons why you’d be perfect for a particular assignment. Maybe you need to outright ask for feedback on how you are coming along on a specific task with the request that your manager give you tips on how you can improve in your professional development.
Judith:
Maybe you need to ask your child’s teacher for more difficult assignments that challenge your child so that boredom won’t set in. Or you need to speak with a neighbor about their tree roots coming up in your driveway and you’ve been reluctant to rock the boat. Any time you shy away from using your influence, make sure to alert yourself that this is another symptom of the Fear Of Being Fabulous—which is another way of saying that you are actually afraid to be fully YOU.
Jim:
Whatever it is, notice how you feel about yourself at our suggestion that you become far more active in managing up with those leaders around you and influencing anyone else where you need to speak up more powerfully.
Judith:
Is there a little voice in the back of your head calling you out if you follow our lead – threatening that you’ll be an “intrusive know it all”? Perhaps you’re afraid that you’ll be seen as “bossy” or butting in where you don’t belong.
Jim:
That’s all just The Fear of Being Fabulous yammering at you! Because we are simply inviting you to take your rightful place in your life, using your own intelligence, and your own needs as concrete requests that can change your life and the lives of people in your life, in your family, and those you work with—all for the better.
Judith:
Think about meetings with your manager, your employer, your child’s home room teacher. Rather than leaving these meetings open ended, which is what most people do—and then they are disappointed when their needs haven’t been discussed much less taken care of—what if you managed up by sending your own Agenda in advance? You can then list your most important topics with the first one at the top and then provide a sentence or two about why it is important and what you are hoping for as the outcome.
Jim:
We can already hear some of you thinking, “Oh no, I can’t do that. It would make me look bossy, like I’m pushing my manager around.” Yep, that’s your unconscious allegiance claiming its right to keep you being a well behaved and obedient person, not allowing you to take charge of your life, in this case your work life, to make sure you get what you need to succeed to the best you are capable.
Judith:
Here’s a spicy topic to amplify what we mean by managing up: asking what all is necessary for you to be considered for a promotion. Again, we expect that many of you are gasping: “Oh no, how can I possibly be so aggressive as to bring up my own promotion.”
Jim:
But if you don’t, who will? Because we know all too well that many managers are far too busy to keep your promotion on the front burner of their minds. AND we know that some managers truly believe that if you don’t have the confidence to bring up the topic yourself—well, then you don’t actually deserve to be put forward for a promotion.
Judith:
Here’s what we recommend. Make sure you‘ve been in your current role long enough to realistically be talking with your manager about the next level of your career. Then when you bring up the topic, don’t ask when can you expect the promotion. That can sound grabby and entitled. Instead, manage your manager by asking how he or she is thinking about when you’ll be ready to be put forward. Ask what criteria are important that you’ve not yet fulfilled. Make sure you ask for prescriptive, concrete specifics that you can execute on in the next several months.
Jim:
And depending on your workplace, you may want to ask for a copy of the promotion package so you can fill it out yourself and give your manager a copy to see how you are thinking about your own career advancement. That is a form of leadership in itself.
Judith:
Thinking this way can apply to how you relate to your Homeowners Association President, your child’s school Principal, how you function with your medical doctor around your health issues, and any other situation where you would ordinarily hang back and be passively obedient.
Jim:
As you overcome the Fear of Being Fabulous, you take on responsibility for yourself rather than playing an outmoded role that may have worked in your family of origin but has been holding you back in your everyday adult life.
Judith:
Managing up and Influencing others applies to any situation where you might have automatically assumed a passive and subservient role. But now you realize there is no real reason for that and you need to take charge of situations that you can influence for your own benefit.
Jim:
So, rather than hanging back, being obedient, and then suffering for it later, grab on to your rightful life and manage up whenever it is right for you to do it!
Judith:
Remember, we are cheering you on in the background!
And with that, we look forward to the next time!
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