Do you feel you deserve the success you’ve achieved?
Think of all the super stars who killed themselves – one way or another – at the height of their career. Elvis, Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, Anthony Bourdain, Robin Williams, Ernest Hemingway, Whitney Houston, Marilyn Monroe and the list goes on and on. It doesn’t matter whether it might have even been an “accidental overdose” or described as an accidental noose around the neck, either way they couldn’t live within the glory and wealth they had earned.
So, what about you? Do you feel you deserve the success you’ve achieved? The house or condo you own? The acclaim, the stature the world keeps granting to you? Or do you feel self-conscious, guilty, worried about what others think? Most people do, that’s why we’re exploring how you can better deserve, truly deserve, the life you’ve created for yourself, and the success that’s coming in the future.
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Ep.117 ~ Do You Deserve It? ~ TRANSCRIPT
Jim:
Think of all the super stars who killed themselves—one way or another—at the height of their career.
Judith:
Elvis, Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, Anthony Bourdain, Robin Williams, Ernest Hemingway, Whitney Houston, Marilyn Monroe, and the list goes on and on.
Jim:
It didn’t matter whether it might have even been an “accidental overdose” or described as an accidental noose around the neck, either way they couldn’t live within the glory and wealth they had earned.
Judith:
So, what about you? Do you feel you deserve the success you’ve achieved? The house or condo you own? The acclaim, the stature the world keeps granting to you?
Jim:
Or do you feel self-conscious, guilty, worried about what others think?
Hi I’m Judith Sherven and I’m Jim Sniechowski
Judith:
We’re best known as Judith & Jim and we’re a married psychology team.
Jim:
We welcome you to another episode of our “Overcoming the Fear Of Being Fabulous” podcast series. And today we’re investigating the issue of whether or not you feel you deserve to have a terrific life, to be actually fabulous!
Judith:
In doing the research for our book “What Really Killed Whitney Houston” – which we highly recommend you read in order to get a more penetrating look into the issue of The Fear of Being Fabulous, and what’s needed to overcome it—we watched many online videos of Whitney—many were taken at awards events. And it was painful to see how she could NOT receive, could not take in the honors that were rightfully given to her. She could not receive the praise and the love.
Jim:
What about you? How do you feel when your boss gives you a bonus? A promotion? Or when you land a juicy contract? Or you win a big dance contest? Or you are the best dressed person at a party? Or have the best body at the beach or pool side?
Judith:
Is it truly, comfortably pleasure-filled for you to stand out – on your own terms – apart from everyone else? You see, our objective is to help you open the way to a resounding “yes”!
Jim:
We ask you to take a closer look at your internal self-image. Your ability to own your appearance, your body, your job or career, your home, lifestyle, friends, recreation, wealth, etc. Take note of any areas where you feel hesitant, self-conscious, or insecure, anxious, needy, defensive, less than, any feeling that interferes with your ability to truly deserve and live within your own life.
Judith:
Now maybe we need to define what we mean by “deserve” in case you think there’s wiggle room to let yourself off the hook. We are referring to any area of your life where you are qualified for something—like a compliment or a new job or successful career, or winning some type of competition. Or, another way to put it is, you have a rightful claim to some kind of acknowledgement or reward because of your actions, abilities, qualities, or a situation you have contributed to. We are not referring to being inflated or conceited–not at all.
Now, remember, we mentioned many super-stars in our opening who left this life through some version of self-inflicted means, at the height of their success. And, of course, on the other hand there are and have been many others whose lives are a living testament to fully enjoying and deserving their success—whether in entertainment, sports, literature, etc.
Jim:
What allows for the difference? From our personal and professional experience, the core issue is “deserving.” So take a minute to examine your own self-talk about deserving. Do you find yourself privately saying things like:
Judith:
Some day they’re going to find me out
Jim:
I just got lucky. I don’t’ really belong here.
Judith:
Who do I think I am, living the big life?
Jim:
I didn’t even go to college or graduate; this is all a big joke.
Judith:
I can’t wait to have a drink or take my anxiety meds; the pressure to perform is killing me.
Jim:
You may have another mantra that speaks to the feeling of not deserving, but whatever it might be, here is our central question:
Judith:
What are you being loyal to rather than your actual real, in the world, value and success?
Jim:
What identity do you prefer to the one you’ve achieved—that makes you feel chronically undeserving?
Judith:
For example, Whitney Houston claimed on video that she ”just wanted to be ghetto” – and yet she had already grown her career to the status of mega-wealthy super star; beloved by people of all races, all nationalities, all around the world! Throughout her career her deep insecurities drove her self-destructive behaviors and eventually her death at only 48.
Jim:
As we close out this episode about “deserving” – we leave you with the suggestion that you re-listen to this episode 2-3 times minimum in order to help yourself recognize and unclog any stuck places of un-deserving that may be blocking you from owning, expressing, and enjoying your fabulous life – in whatever ways you want and deserve!
Judith:
Do it! And if you need help doing this, be sure to check out our 12-hour personal workshop with all original content—also called “Overcoming the Fear Of Being Fabulous”—guaranteed to help you move your life along. Just go to OvercomingTheFearOfBeingFabulous.com/workshop
Jim:
We look forward to being with you the next time.
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