No more hiding your holdbacks!

Yes, it’s really becoming a movement! And times, they really are changing! No more hiding your holdbacks, your fears of being too much. Or, on the other hand, no more avoiding telling your friends about the great promotion you just received, the awesome person you just went out with who wants to see you again, the amount of weight you lost, or the wonderful vacation you have planned!

And it’s totally okay if you’re struggling, uncomfortable, self-conscious, even embarrassed that The Fear Of Being Fabulous still has a hold on you. In fact, you can say so.

Why? Because more and more we hear from people who listen to this podcast, share it with their friends, and are finding that the topic of Overcoming The Fear Of Being Fabulous is more and more an okay thing to talk about!

Ep.120 ~ It’s Becoming a Movement ~ TRANSCRIPT

Judith:

Times, they really are changing! No more hiding your holdbacks, your fears of being too much.

Jim:

Or, on the other hand, no more avoiding telling your friends about the great promotion you just received, the awesome person you just went out with who wants to see you again, the amount of weight you lost, or the wonderful vacation you have planned!

Judith:

And it’s totally okay if you’re struggling, uncomfortable, self-conscious, even embarrassed that The Fear Of Being Fabulous still has a hold on you. In fact, you can say so.

Jim:

Why? Because more and more we hear from people who listen to this podcast, share it with their friends, and are finding that the topic of Overcoming The Fear Of Being Fabulous is more and more an okay thing to talk about!

Hi I’m Judith Sherven and I’m Jim Sniechowski

Judith:

If you’re just joining us, we’re a married PhD psychology team, executive coaches for tech companies, and the best-selling authors of 8 books.

Jim:

And we both had to work our way through The Fear Of  Being Fabulous after we each walked away from successful acting careers earlier in our lives. And since my stroke in 2016 I’ve had to wrestle with that fear regarding my speech which was the area my stroke mostly attacked.

Judith:

So, as we’ve heard from a number of listeners, it gives them comfort and confidence as they learn more about the Fear Of Being Fabulous AND they tell us how they are now able to talk about their own fears, their own holdbacks, their own self-consciousness with their friends and even family members in ways they’ve never experienced before.

Jim:

One person sent a note letting us know how much she appreciated her new found freedom to stand up to her mother who was very demanding and controlling. She called it Freedom To Be Fearless!

Judith:

Isn’t that great!

Okay…so now, as you continue to listen today, what comes to mind about who you would like to share your Fear Of Being Fabulous with? Maybe it’s not even anything specific at the moment, more like a growing sense that there’s more to your life here on earth if only you were free to express yourself more fully.

Jim:

Or maybe you find yourself wanting a closer bond with your spouse or partner, and you’re increasingly aware that it’s your fear of being fully present that’s holding you back. If so, try this. Set up a time to be together, whether it’s over dinner, a cup of coffee, maybe a walk around the park. Whatever it is, make sure your partner knows that you have a specific idea in mind for this event.

Judith:

Ahhh, I see where you’re going Jim – great idea!

Jim:

Yes, when the two of you get together — and by the way – you can do this with a close friend as well. Anyway when you’re together, announce that the objective of your get together is to tell each other the top 3 fears that are holding you back from living a larger life, AND being more available for the kind of deep emotional intimacy you’d like to experience, or the professional success and recognition you desire..

Judith:

When Jim and I were first married—like during the first couple of years—I was very reluctant to get angry when Jim did or said something that really made me mad. You see, my Dad was a rage-a-holic and I didn’t want to be destructive like my Dad had been when he got angry.

Jim:

But Judith’s fear of getting angry, of being fully present with me in that way was tangible and it held me back as well. So I finally had to say something like, “Judith, look, just yell at me, just scream and yell. I’m a big boy. I can take it.”

Judith:

I remember the first time I finally got up the courage to yell at Jim about – who knows what it was — when he yelled back I was shocked …..and said something like, “You’re not supposed to yell back.” And Jim said, “Why not? We’re in a fight, of course I’m going to yell back.” And somehow I thought it was so silly of me to expect Jim not yell back that I started laughing, and then we both were laughing. And it was really precious, really sweet. Actually really romantic!

Jim:

The long-term success was that Judith had broken through her fear of being more fabulous with her expression of anger!  And from then on she was able to fully participate in being angry with me when we got into those fights that are part of what happens, as a couple is working out their stuff together.

Judith:

So please help spread the word that it’s becoming normalized to talk with friends and lovers about The Fear Of Being Fabulous, about The Imposter Syndrome, about thinking you have to be perfect. You know this territory, so please open up about it, how it affects you in whatever ways you can.

Jim:

So, yes, please help others get it out in the open as well. For example, if you are in a leadership role in your organization, you can help by tying an announcement about a deadline or some kind of game changing issue into part of a motivational talk to your team.

Judith:

You might stress that you know for some people this will trigger their fears of not being good enough, or on the other hand not wanting to outperform  others if you know a great “hack” or trick or shortcut that can help the process, or feeling like this time you’ll get found out as not adequate to the job, whatever it might be that the “fear of being fabulous” voice uses to hold you back.

Jim:

Maybe you’ll start having specific office hours for anyone caught in these kinds of mind traps. Whatever you can do that helps normalize the deep fears of true success that plague people everywhere.

Judith:

The point here is to help, in any way you can, to create a more open forum for people to talk about their fears of being fabulous, their holdbacks, their short-circuiting beliefs.

Jim:

Yes, it’s high time that the fear of being seen as showing off, or grand standing, anything like that, be snuffed out. These fears keep everyone held back – and it costs everyone the joy of full self-expression! Think about how much people hold themselves back every day, as individuals, in the workplace, in relationships, in how children are taught to behave.

Judith:

To help you create more freedom of self-expression – make sure you watch our Free 3-minute video — “You Are A Miracle” just go to    OvercomingTheFearOfBeingFabulous.com/miracle

Jim:

Because you’re only responsibility is to fully BE who you are. Who you really are. Because you are a one of a kind; a miracle. Yes you are!

Judith:

And with that — we look forward to the next time!