Have you heard the expression “You’ll regret what you haven’t done, not what you actually have done”?
What comes to mind when you think about regret? Chances are good that it’s not about things you did, but about things you didn’t allow yourself to do. Or haven’t done and may never do, but you’d like to – sort of —
So today we’re digging into desire and regret.
Because what we’ve seen all too often are the regrets that shadow people’s careers and personal lives.
Regrets about what they might have done or could have done but didn’t.
Ep.122 ~ Regret ~ TRANSCRIPT
Jim:
Have you heard the expression “You’ll regret what you haven’t done, not what you actually have done”?
Judith:
What comes to mind when you think about regret? Chances are good that it’s not about things you did, but about things you didn’t allow yourself to do.
Jim:
Or haven’t done and may never do, but you’d like to—sort of…
Judith:
That’s why today we’re digging into desire and regret.
Hi – I’m Judith Sherven and I‘m Jim Sniechowski
And we’re a married PhD psychology team and executive coaching team for corporate leaders.
Judith:
And what we’ve seen all too often are the regrets that shadow people’s careers and personal lives…
Jim:
Regrets about what they might have done or could have done but didn’t.
Judith:
Sometimes it’s a position they turned down at a small company that very soon thereafter went gang-busters. And they had a sense that it could happen but didn’t want to take the risk. Or it might have been a role on a specific team that could have led to a much larger role if only they’d had the courage to take the risk of asking for more.
Jim:
Usually the choices to NOT take these roles resulted from a concern for security, safety, staying in the tried and true lane.
Judith:
As you may know from listening to earlier podcast episodes, Jim and I both walked away from successful professional acting careers — due to our fears of being fabulous.
Jim:
And we still wonder what might have been.
Judith:
Soooo … what might you be considering right now — but find yourself holding back?
Jim:
Perhaps a physical fitness commitment that would help you feel and look better and better?
Judith:
Serious involvement in appropriate dating sites that would expand your social connections and maybe lead to the love of your life?
Jim:
Telling your parents that you’re going to Kenya, Miami, Paris, New York City, or anywhere except visiting them when you don’t want to — for fear of disappointing them and even hurting their feelings.
Judith:
Launching into a serious job search to secure a position that’s a better fit for you — for who you really are — but you are afraid you might not have the required experience or education, which you can’t know until you find out.
Jim:
Maybe it’s buying the car, the house or condo, the boat, whatever it might be that would stretch your identity AND bring you deep pleasure….
Judith:
You name it — whatever it might be that would somehow trigger the fear of being fabulous that has a hold on your soul and is crippling your personal right and privilege to choose more of what you want in life!
Jim:
So take a minute now – what are you wanting most right now but haven’t acted on?
Judith:
Whatever it is, how would your life, your very identity change if you stopped creating regret, and acted to move your life forward in more courageous ways?
Jim:
Big question — what are you telling yourself right now?
Judith:
Remember most regret comes from what you didn’t do, not what you did do.
Jim:
Soooo you might want to create a Bucket List of all the things you want to do before you can’t.
Judith:
If you didn’t see the film “The Bucket List” we highly recommend it. As Wikipedia describes it — The Bucket List is a 2007 American buddy comedy-drama film directed and produced by Rob Reiner, written by Justin Zackham, and starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. The main plot follows two terminally ill men on their road trip with a wish list of things to do before they “kick the bucket”. And as Jim just said, we encourage you to make your own.
Jim:
Often Bucket Lists include places to go and things to do—like jumping out of an airplane or climbing a special mountain, but….
Judith:
But what if yours involves things you want to accomplish that are more personal to you; like — helping to clean up local beaches, riverbanks, and other public areas
Jim:
*** creating local vegetable gardens, animal sanctuaries, volunteering at a local school
Judith:
*** being part of a political action team
Jim:
Think how these kinds of things can put your values and your actions together to create greater fulfillment and aliveness?
Judith:
And you might meet new like-minded friends, even romantic partners.
Jim:
The point is to expand your life and how you live each day so regret is NOT on your calendar. Doing this podcast is one of the ways Judith & I are living more fully, getting these messages out to help you “Overcome the Fear Of Being Fabulous”
Judith:
And if you want more advanced help in expanding who you are in the world, we encourage you to experience our 12-part personal workshop also called
“Overcoming The Fear Of Being Fabulous” — only $197 for the MP3 and transcript downloadable version!
Just go to
OvercomingTheFearOfBeingFabulous.com/workshop
Jim:
As Deborah Putnam of Portland Oregon wrote to us,
“Judith & Jim have put a lifetime of their work in this area into this personal workshop-program. You could spend thousands of dollars on therapy and never get at the heart of the issues the way they guide you through them. They are so truthful. And their processes really work.”
Judith:
And our “Overcoming The Fear Of Being Fabulous” workshop is a great gift to give yourself for Easter or Passover! And with that we trust we’ve inspired you to expand your life, avoid regret, and make it fabulous!
Jim:
Until next time!
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