How do you respond to a compliment or some form of success?
So often people say their success is a matter of “luck” or “fate.” They’ll say it in response to a compliment or the successful outcome of a job interview or first date.
Why would people hand off these important issues and positive results to “luck” or “fate” rather than their own decisions, their own behavior, their own intelligence, their own excellence?
This isn’t just about receiving. It’s about owning responsibility for your choices, your actions, your excellence, and success in whatever ways it manifests. So we ask, how can you feel rightfully fabulous, when you’re not owning who you actually are?
Ep.128 ~ Do You Rely On Luck Or Fate? ~ TRANSCRIPT
Jim:
Do You Rely On Luck Or Fate?
So often people say their success is a matter of “luck” or “fate.”
Judith:
They’ll say it in response to a compliment or the successful outcome of a job interview or first date.
Jim:
Why would people hand off these important issues and positive results to “luck” or “fate” rather than their own decisions, their own behavior, their own intelligence, their own excellence?
Hi I’m Judith Sherven and I’m Jim Sniechowski
Judith:
We’re better known as Judith & Jim. And if you’re just joining us, we’re a married PhD psychology team and have been executive coaches for a variety of tech companies for over the past decade.
Jim:
And you’re listening to another episode of our “Overcoming The Fear Of Being Fabulous” podcast series. Welcome!
Judith:
Think about when you compliment someone, whether it’s about a promotion, a new job, getting engaged, winning a contest, you name it, and their response is something like “Oh, I was just lucky.” or “Yes, I’m lucky that fate chose to shine on me.” Anything that bats away responsibility for the success they’ve achieved.
Jim:
This isn’t just about receiving. It’s about owning responsibility for one’s choices, one’s actions, one’s excellence, and success in whatever ways it manifests.
Judith:
How can you feel rightfully fabulous, when you’re not owning who you actually are!?
Jim:
Exactly. Yet, as we know, most people are reluctant to own their excellence. Too often they’ve been told growing up to play themselves down, don’t stand out, don’t be arrogant, be careful, you might get a big head. And that’s so damaging to self-confidence, self-expression, and true self-acceptance.
Judith:
I keep thinking about a woman I met many years ago at a fund raiser. She was one of the sponsors. And she was enormously attractive. Why? Not because fate had blessed her with excellent features. Actually, not at all. Her facial features were not only not symmetrical but her eyes were quite small while her lips were quite large and her nose was a quite crooked. Yet, she was strikingly attractive. Why? Because she had taken the time to design her appearance to set herself apart from any other woman in the room.
*** her white hair was cut in a short, powerful frame for her face
*** she wore make-up that modestly enhanced her presence
*** her earrings were bold unique works of art
*** and her comfortable silk grey pants and long top provided the canvas for a long string of hand-crafted beads that complimented her earrings.
Jim:
Sounds like she was a work of art herself.
Judith:
Exactly. So when I complimented her saying, “What an extraordinary looking woman you are!” she smiled graciously and said “Thank you so much.”
Jim:
She could have decided that her fate or bad luck was to be a homely person and she’d be best off playing down her appearance, trying to fade into the background. But that kind of choice has nothing to do with “fate” and everything to do with the Fear Of Being Fabulous.
Judith:
Exactly! This woman had chosen to be fabulous in her own way. And fabulous she was!
Jim:
Think about all of the professional athletes who get signed to spectacular contracts and then tell newscasters and journalists that they feel “lucky” – taking no responsibility for creating a long trajectory of success and being a role model for kids who can learn from them that it takes dedication and hard work – not luck.
Judith:
Yes! Children and teens need to know that taking ownership over their skills, their intelligent commitment to develop themselves in whatever way can pay off later in life. This needs to be reinforced. And it’s important that our youth see adult role models managing their success so that they are still successful and financially abundant long after they’ve retired from their professional lives – whether in sports, business, entertainment, you name it.
Jim:
Yes. Please for anyone listening who is a parent, aunt or uncle, good friend in any way in relationship with young people, make sure you help those youngsters own their intelligence, their talent, their gifts. And not write it off as the result of “luck” or “fate”. They need to know it’s wonderful to be who they are – all that they are!
Judith:
So before we wrap up this segment, we ask you to take a simple yet immensely powerful step. That is — to take ownership of all that you are, of the life you have created, especially all of the successes you’ve achieved.
And, as the owner of your life, what can you more fully take responsibility for? What steps can you take that move you closer to being all that you are – fully fabulous you?
Jim:
And if you are uncomfortable with this challenge, make sure you watch our free video — “You Are A Miracle” – it’s only 3 minutes – and you can watch it at OvercomingTheFearOfBeingFabulous.com — just scroll all the way to the bottom and you’ll see where to sign-in to watch it.
Judith:
And if you are concerned that a belief in luck or fate is still haunting your desires, be sure to continue listening to our podcast — AND we recommend you give yourself the gift of our “Overcoming The Fear Of Being Fabulous” personal workshop — available at overcomingthefearofbeingfabulous.com/workshop
Jim:
It’s available in MP3 Audio download – or in CD format.
Judith:
We are dedicated to helping you empower yourself to live a bolder life with greater self-ownership!
Jim:
Yes! We are committed to helping you live your rightful life so that you are no longer at the mercy of “luck” or “fate”!
Judith:
Remember, don’t hold back, make the most of every day, be your fullest most fabulous self!
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