Ep. 132 ~ The Signs and Signals of the Fear of Being Fabulous

    Do you worry about The Imposter Syndrome?

Do you refrain from speaking up at meetings or with friends for fear you’ll be seen as a bossy, imposing know-it-all? Do you struggle with anxiety and/or depression? Are you a chronic procrastinator? Perhaps you cater to old values you learned in childhood and don’t even recognize what it’s costing you. These are just a small sampling of what you’ll discover about The Signs and Signals of ways that people suffer from the Fear of Being Fabulous—and how it may be holding you back from a much larger, happier life.

Ep. 132 ~ The Signs and Signals of the Fear of Being Fabulous ~ TRANSCRIPT

Jim:

We have a question for you! Here it is – Do you suffer from The Fear of Being Fabulous?

Judith:

You KNOW you could be living a much larger life, a much more fulfilling life, but something, something deep down keeps holding you back!

Jim:

Well, today we’re providing a big wake up call! That’s right – awakening you to a variety of Signs and Signals of The Fear of Being Fabulous!

Hi, I’m Judith Sherven and I’m Jim Sniechowski

Judith:  

Welcome to another of our Overcoming The Fear of Being Fabulous Podcasts! Today we’re taking you through some of the major Signs and Signals of the Fear of Being Fabulous.

Jim:

We invite you to develop your awareness, your inner geiger counter for the behaviors that can tip you off about your own Fear of Being Fabulous.

Judith:

Sooooo, how can you tell if you are suffering with The Fear of Being Fabulous? While most people get it right away when we use that phrase – laughing, blushing, sighing – we want to make it crystal clear what we mean.

Jim:

For example, do you worry about suffering from The Imposter Syndrome? No matter how successful you are in your work, no matter what others tell you about your competence, you don’t totally believe it. Instead you feel like you’re an “imposter” pretending to be important, pretending to be a leader, pretending to be socially influential. And you believe this internal put down instead of what others tell you about your success, instead of the promotion and raise you recently got, or even those new friends who are asking you over once again.

Judith:

Here’s another indication that The Fear Of Being Fabulous is robbing you of your rightful life. You may believe you have to be humble and modest, never tooting your own horn, never telling others about your success whether at work or in your personal life. You may have been taught growing up that you don’t want to be seen as cocky, or above it all, or stand-offish if you believed in and didn’t shy away from your own excellence. So you may have hidden your good grades, avoided speaking up in class, and even refrained from going out for sports or the drama club for fear that might make you seem like a show-off.

Jim:

Maybe you refrain from speaking up at business meetings for fear you’ll be seen as a bossy imposing know-it-all. Now that might sound extreme, but we’ve worked with far too many people who told us they were fearful of how others would see them if they were outspoken. And so they buried their ideas only to later feel hurt and angry when someone else spoke up about the same thing – getting the credit and glory instead of themselves, when they had the idea first.

Judith:

This goes hand in hand with the difficulty many people have when it comes to asking for a promotion or a raise. “Who do you think you are?” may have been a common refrain in their early life, in  their family of origin, in their culture or religion when they were too young to realize they were being influenced in the wrong direction.

Jim:

Are you reluctant to ask for help, imagining others will think you’re weak, needy, or even possibly desperate? Maybe you believe you won’t be considered successful if you have to get help. And yet, how do truly successful people actually make new connections, learn new techniques, master expanded skills in order to continually expand their lives? By asking for help!

Judith:

Do you have difficulty accepting praise and compliments? If you typically laugh it off when others acknowledge your excellence, that’s evidence that you are definitely cringing behind the Fear of Being Fabulous. Do you have the internal permission to dream big about your career, your future, your social life? If you sluff it off thinking “that’s for other people” then you can’t own your own desire, your own ambition. And that’s a sure sign of The Fear of Being Fabulous.

Jim:

Other specific signs and signals are:

Procrastination

Boredom

Perfectionism

Depression

Worry about what others think of you

Anxiety

Drug and/or Alcohol Abuse

Laziness

Feeling overworked

Being Obsessive Compulsive

There are many, many more – but you get the drift – right?

Judith:

Here’s another way to look at this issue. Do you cater to old values you learned in childhood? Perhaps you feel you can’t disappoint your parents and/or siblings or even grandparents. So you keep on keeping on in their old ways – and don’t even recognize what it’s costing you.  If you worry that if you change you’ll upset and disappoint your parents and/or siblings – then your life doesn’t belong to you – it belongs to them.

Jim:

This is just a tiny sampling of what you’ll discover in future podcasts about ways that you and other people suffer from The Fear of Being Fabulous—and how it can hold you back from a much larger, happier life.

Judith:

For a complete picture of how this played out in the life of super star Whitney Houston, be sure to read our book “What Really Killed Whitney Houston – available on Amazon.

Jim:

And with that, we’ll look forward to being with you next time!