Do You Own Your Own Life – On Your Own Terms?
Overcoming the Fear of Being Fabulous is rooted in awakening you to the powerful childhood roots that can be holding you back.
That’s why today we’re addressing your life, and all that influenced you before your brain was capable of Reason and Analysis. Because only with the capability to reason, analyze, and question can you own your life—on your own terms.
Join us now as we explore this very important topic.
Ep.153 ~ Your Life Before Reason and Analysis ~ TRANSCRIPT
Jim:
Lots of people talk about the unconscious. And Judith & I certainly do—after all our commitment to helping you Overcome The Fear Of Being Fabulous is rooted in awakening you to the powerful childhood roots that can be holding you back.
Judith:
That’s why today we’re addressing your life, and all that influenced you before your brain was capable of Reason and Analysis. Because only with the capability to reason, analyze, and question can you own your life—on your own terms.
Jim:
The pivotal age in question is around the age of seven (and can even go up to the age of eleven, depending on the trajectory of your brain development).
Judith:
It’s during that time when a child’s brain is finally, and for the first time, able to enter a developmental phase known as the age of reason. At that time there is sufficient neurological growth in the temporal and frontal lobes of the brain to allow for the expanded cognitive capacities required to reason, question, and analyze reality. Prior to the Age of Reason we accept the life we find ourselves in as appropriate and unquestionable.
Jim:
And only during that developmental period can it then be said that the individual is capable of being conscious and in command of their own mind—if it’s allowed in the family and culture they grow up in.
Hi, this is Judith Sherven and I’m Jim Sniechowski
Judith:
And we are both PhD psychologists, best-selling authors, executive coaches, which we do as a team.
Jim:
And we’ve been married to each other since 1988.
Judith:
The easiest way to think about your unconscious mind is to realize that everything that happened to you from the time you were conceived until your mind achieved the ability to reason was taken into your unconscious mind. Your mind that was not yet conscious, not yet able to decipher whether what you were told and what you experienced was valid, relevant, accurate to who you are.
Jim:
So then as you continue along in your life, all too often your decisions about who you are, what you are allowed to do and be, are being governed by all that early unquestioned programming.
Judith:
For example, when my 4th grade teacher got married, she invited everyone in our class to attend the wedding. I was the only one that didn’t go. Why? Because my parents didn’t believe in church and I’d not yet questioned what it meant to be in a church for a wedding, I assumed it was wrong, so I didn’t go.
Jim:
Growing up in the rough streets of lower-class factory workers in inner-city Detroit, it was no surprise that my father had been a member of the “Pop Bottle Gang” (they fought with broken pop bottles). What might have been a surprise, if not for my unconscious roots, was that I joined The Royal Lancers street gang when I was about 13, where I was a misfit trying to belong, but in many ways merely mirroring what I knew my father had done.
Judith:
As Jim has said many times, he had no business being in a gang. He would have been a better fit in a writing workshop, dance class, or theater group. But these would have been unheard of in Jim’s family.
Jim:
So think about the family culture you grew up in, especially what you remember about it before you were 7 years old.
Judith:
Bring to mind the attitudes your parents and their relatives held about:
*** worldly success
*** money
*** politics
*** speaking up and being a leader
*** travel and other cultures
*** romantic relationships
*** sex
*** and any other areas of life that matter to you now
Jim:
Now consider in what areas you’ve been able to analyze and question their beliefs in order to arrive at your own points of view, and where you are perhaps still in unquestioned lock-step.
Judith:
We are NOT suggesting you need to stop speaking to your parents if they are still alive. We ARE suggesting you may need to evaluate or re-evaluate the values and life-style norms you inherited in those first 7 years of your life.
Jim:
As you know, we are focused on helping you and everyone who listens to our podcast to overcome the fear of being fabulous. And by fabulous, we mean to live your most expanded, self-styled excellence—on your own terms!
Judith:
So take a moment and think about some belief or behavior that you are still maintaining, that goes back to your very young—pre-aged 7 reality. For instance, one of mine is what Jim and I call PPS—“Pig Pen Sherven”—because I learned at a very early age from my depression-era mother that you should never waste food. So whenever there is a bit of something left over, I’ll eat it rather than whatever I might truly want.
Jim:
And, this is a pretty funny one, I hate hair-cuts, still to this day. Why? As best I can tell it’s because when my mother started cutting my hair, and since my hair was curly, she’d leave it nice and long on top so she could make what were known as sausage curls on top of my head. I think she started this when I was about two or three and I hated it.
Judith:
Now since neither of the examples we’ve given are getting in the way of our professional success, or our friendships, or our marriage, we’re not likely to give up PPS or hating haircuts. BUT for anything that is holding you back, this is an opportunity to evaluate whether it belongs in your future.
Jim:
For instance, if you were raised to be humble and unassuming AND it’s holding you back from being more assertive in your career goals, we encourage you to reconsider whether normal ideas of “humility” belong in your life.
Judith:
Jim, please share your much better idea about true humility!
Jim:
True humility is not the suppression of your gifts, quite the contrary. Sincere humility is the full expression of your gifts to HONOR THEIR SOURCE, Source with a capital S, whether you think of it as God, The Big U, All That Is. If you are hiding your gifts, don’t you think that Source will be pretty annoyed. After all I gave you all this, why are you hiding what I’ve given you to use in the world?
Judith:
So now, at the time of this recording as we are in the time of Passover and Easter, we encourage you to give yourself the gift of a much larger life. Our personal MP3 and Transcript workshop “Overcoming The Fear of Being Fabulous.”
Just go to
https://OvercomingTheFearOfBeingFabulous.com/workshop
and read about everything you’ll be digging into so you can set yourself on to a much larger personal and professional path!
Jim:
You’ll be so glad you did. And by the way, we’ve never had a single return with this program! That’s how good it is! So do it now!
Judith:
And we look forward to being with you next week!
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